I won’t be missing the flowers, chocolates, jewelry, bags, and clothers. No, I won’t miss being given gifts and cuddly toys. But I would surely miss how your whole face lit up of excitement every time you have something planned for me. Oh, and that nervous smile every time I was opening your gift or reading your letter, because you don’t know whether I’d like it or not. No, I won’t miss waking up at 6am just to jog with you, but I will surely miss the way you look at me every time you see me coming out or walking towards you. No, I won’t miss the talks but I will surely miss the sound of your voice, portraying all kinds of emotions. I won’t miss your random gestures, but I will miss your presence. Knowing that you are right there behind me or next to me makes me feel safe. I won’t miss the cuddles but I will miss the feeling of sleeping next to you — rhythmic beating of hearts, calm and peaceful breathing, serenity and being loved. I won’t miss holding you or kissing you, but I will miss the feeling of your hands intertwined with mine, of how right it always felt when we kiss.

I won’t miss the sweet messages. Instead, I will miss the person who utters them.

I don’t remember the last time we spoke, but I know you were distant with me.
I don’t remember when I last saw you, but I know the sun hasn’t shined as bright since.
I don’t remember when I last touched you, but my fingers are still burning from it.
I don’t remember the last time you looked at me and I didn’t feel invisible.

But it has been far too long and I am not okay with that.


"In my dreams, we’re still together."

That boy said,
I don’t want you posting
online so much.
I only want to read poems
about me.

I nodded
and held his hand
as he played me songs about
his family
and swimming with whales
and the soft legs
that he dreamed about
while he was inside of me.

And then I left-
without a care,
with my goodbye posted online
for him
and all strangers
to read,

because I could not stay
and have him suffocate
me completely.

Don’t leave me
Just yet.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t fucking have feelings for anyone that’s not you.


if you are considering taking AP chemistry next year also consider purchasing a gun because you are going to want to shoot yourself in the face


We are all Channing Tatum in AP Chemistry


"Why are you taking so many classes? You’re a senior…"


God I hate this. Unlike some of ya’ll, I actually LIKE challenging myself. Besides, why the fuck would I take an easy load senior year when it’s only going to get harder in college? Why would I make my junior year the most academically rigorous when I still have a whole other year left?

I do know one thing: I definitely don’t wanna end up at the same school as anyone who doesn’t understand the concept of voluntary hard work. 

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